Oprah @ Kath and Kim

Part 3
FADE IN:

1 INT. KATH AND KIM LOUNGE ROOM – NIGHT
OPRAH steps into the lounge room from the studio. She is wearing a glamorous red dress and holding an Australian flag-imprinted coffee mug.
She is followed into the lounge room by Kim, Kath, Sharon and Brett.
Oprah sits down on the couch, with Kim and Sharon on either side of her. Kath goes into the kitchen and lights a cigarette. Brett switches on the TV, and begins watching the news.
KIM
Change the channel, Brett. I have to see Desperate Housewives.
OPRAH
Do you get it here?
SHARON
Yes Oprah, we get a lot of American stuff.
It’s good to be aware of what’s happening in the world.
BRETT
We also have our own version of Desperate Housewives.
KIM
And that is?
BRETT
Kath and Kim.
KIM
Oh, I’ve never heard of that.
Kim goes to the kitchen, empties a pack of chicken nuggets into a bowl and puts it into the microwave.
KIM
I am just happy watching the American one, you know.
I can actually identify with all those attractive women.
KATH
Kimmy, attractive women don’t eat deep-fried chicken nuggets.
KIM
So Oprah, what do you think my chances in Hollywood are?
KATH
Fat people have no chances in Hollywood.
What do you think my chances are, Oprah?
KIM
(to Kath)
Do you realise that Kate Winslet was 80 kilos when she was pregnant?
OPRAH
So does that mean you are pregnant, Kim?
KIM
Oh no! I’m just preparing in advance for it.
SHARON
Oprah, you must tell me and Kim how you lost so much weight.
OPRAH
Two simple things – be active and eat healthy.
KATH
Are you listening, Kimmy?
KIM
I have to watch TV and be on TV. Isn’t that enough activity?
OPRAH
I thought Aussies were good at sport.
KIM
If I had Tom Cruise coming to my show,
I would quit eating for one whole hour.
KATH
Oh no, Kimmy! Don’t invite Tom Cruise, he left our poor Nicole.

FADE OUT