Denton @ Kath and Kim

Part 2

FADE IN:

1 INT. KIMMY LIVE STUDIO – DAY
KIM, wearing an ‘Enough Rope’ white polo-shirt, low-strung denim pants and trendy glasses catwalks onto the stage, and sits down on the bright-pink couch in the centre, facing the audience.
She is followed by Kath in a straight skirt and a puff-sleeved blouse, Sharon in a yellow and green Australian cricket team track suit, and Brett in poorly-ironed corporate attire. They sit on a black couch on the right side of the stage, facing Kim.
Kim clips her microphone onto the lowest button of her polo-shirt.
KIM
Women and gentlemen, welcome Mr Andrew Denton.
DENTON enters, holding a ‘Cheap as Chips’-imprinted glass of white wine.
Kim motions him to sit on the blue couch next to her. She waits for the applause to die down before speaking.
KIM
Of course, Andy needs no intro.
KATH
(frowning at Kim)
Now you haven’t done your google, Kim.
KIM
(in a hushed voice)
Andy, just ignore her, okay.
SHARON
Kim, at least ask him whether he prefers being called Andy or Drew.
DENTON
(smiling apologetically)
Andrew will be fine.
KIM
Sharon, do you realise you are talking to ANDRU DENTO double NE
on the ABC double E? Now do you have any serious questions?
BRETT
Kim, do you realise even we are on the ABC double E?
KIM
Brett, please don’t compare yourself with Andrew.
You can’t speak a word in American. Now go and get me a Mars bar.
SHARON
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
KIM
Was that a question, Sharon?
DENTON
(to Sharon)
Have you read that book?
SHARON
No, Mr Denton. I thought it was an American saying. But talking of books,
I’m reading Shane Warne’s bibliography right now. Have you read it?
KIM
Of course he hasn’t, Sharon. He reads more serious stuff.
KATH
Kimmy, let Andrew answer.
DENTON
No, I haven’t read it yet. But I wouldn’t mind;
Shane Warne is an interesting Aussie character.
KATH
(indulgently)
How’s your Cardonnay, Andrew?
DENTON
Oh my Cha…! It’s great, thanks Mrs Day.
KATH
I wanted to actually serve you some chilled beer,
but Kim insisted that Cardonnay looks better on TV.
KIM
And besides that, Cardonnay is more Australian that Victoria Bitter.
DENTON
(perplexed)
Is it?
SHARON
Yes, Mr Denton, it’s grown in our own wine-yards.

FADE OUT