1 INT. KIMMY LIVE STUDIO – DAY
KIM, wearing an ‘Enough Rope’ white polo-shirt, low-strung denim pants and trendy glasses catwalks onto the stage, and sits down on the bright-pink couch in the centre, facing the audience.
She is followed by Kath in a straight skirt and a puff-sleeved blouse, Sharon in a yellow and green Australian cricket team track suit, and Brett in poorly-ironed corporate attire. They sit on a black couch on the right side of the stage, facing Kim.
Kim clips her microphone onto the lowest button of her polo-shirt.
Women and gentlemen, welcome Mr Andrew Denton.
DENTON enters, holding a ‘Cheap as Chips’-imprinted glass of white wine.
Kim motions him to sit on the blue couch next to her. She waits for the applause to die down before speaking.
Of course, Andy needs no intro.
(frowning at Kim)
Now you haven’t done your google, Kim.
(in a hushed voice)
Andy, just ignore her, okay.
Kim, at least ask him whether he prefers being called Andy or Drew.
Andrew will be fine.
Sharon, do you realise you are talking to ANDRU DENTO double NE
on the ABC double E? Now do you have any serious questions?
Kim, do you realise even we are on the ABC double E?
Brett, please don’t compare yourself with Andrew.
You can’t speak a word in American. Now go and get me a Mars bar.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
Was that a question, Sharon?
Have you read that book?
No, Mr Denton. I thought it was an American saying. But talking of books,
I’m reading Shane Warne’s bibliography right now. Have you read it?
Of course he hasn’t, Sharon. He reads more serious stuff.
Kimmy, let Andrew answer.
No, I haven’t read it yet. But I wouldn’t mind;
Shane Warne is an interesting Aussie character.
How’s your Cardonnay, Andrew?
Oh my Cha…! It’s great, thanks Mrs Day.
I wanted to actually serve you some chilled beer,
but Kim insisted that Cardonnay looks better on TV.
And besides that, Cardonnay is more Australian that Victoria Bitter.
Yes, Mr Denton, it’s grown in our own wine-yards.